i don't know why

...i just spent a half hour pouring my heart into this post. writing all this shit. and getting my emotions going. and then i was like fuck it, and deleted it all. because there's no reason for me to be sad. i have the most beautiful woman on the planet as my girlfriend. and i love her, and for some reason that only god knows, she loves me back. and that alone makes me the luckiest man alive. and you're not only beautiful, but you are the most caring person i know. from the notes you left, to the money for boston, to always driving me everywhere, to putting up with my emotions, to staying my messy room, to not leaving me because i don't have a job, you are the nicest person i know. you've been there for me when i was at my very worst. you held my hand as i broke down and told me everything was ok. and i believed you, and you were right. so since you were there for me when i was at my worst, the least i can do is be there for you now. there is nothing more i regret in life then hurting you in any way. i always told my self i would be the best boy friend in the world, and i've been lacking a little. so i want to make it up to you baby. i will let you stop worrying about me, so you can have the time of your life in ITALY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes i wish you weren't so good to me, so i wouldn't miss you this much haha. just joking. and if the stars aline just right, then maybe i'll make it out there with you. i love you so much baby, and i want to spend the rest of my life with you. i never want to hurt you or push you away. my father told me to become a man of character, and thats just what i'll do. for him, but now more importantly for you. and if i ever start losing my way again, just remind me of my words here. tell me to re read this. i love you baby.
and i can't wait to make you smile again.

this has been hard already, and i don't know why i act the way i do. and i don't know why things work out the way they do. and i don't know why you like a lot of the foods that you do. and i don't know why you would ever doubt your self on anything. and i don't know why i love candy so much. and i don't know why i'm just so damn sexy, but...i know why i love you