i wish i could be there too...

this is really hard for me so far. it just feels like you left me and then left me again. like you're two whole worlds away now. i am so happy that you tell me everything. but its always gonna be hard for me to hear. and i know you can take care of your self. but it still makes me feel like shit, that i can't be there. i hate these ass holes out there. i would beat the shit out of them if i were there. but i will never ever ever get the chance. it sucks. and it just scares me knowing theres gonna be someone like that every night that you go out. and thats why i hate bars and clubs. and really the only reason it bothers me that you go out. cuz i know there's douche bags out there. and you're a very attractive girl. and i know you're gonna be drinking out there. probably a lot more than you would here. and there's nothing i can do to stop you. and please don't think i don't want you not to have a good time. i do, i want you to have an amazing time. alcohol just gets me uneasy and worried. this is just new and hard for me. i just wish i could be with you so bad it almost brings me to tears. things just aren't fair. and i hope you think about me as much as i think about you. enjoy you're time. and like i said before, don't let anything ruin it for you. not even all of my worrying and complaints. ok? i'm sorry i'm not the best for this. i love you baby. and miss you so much. i'm going over to evan's it turns out. cuz i feel kind of sad just being here. so who knows, i might be up around 5, just give me a try see if i'm on. love you baby.